So... tomorrow is my birthday. I feel so old. 20 years on this earth and it feels like I haven't done anything special. But then again 20 are not so many...
I celebrate my 20th birthday in my parents’ house...but I wouldn't have it any other way.
on my 20th birthday I don't have a job or a place to live...but I’m looking...and for 1 year already I’m living on my own. So it's not so bad.
I’ve met weird people, I’ve met bad people, crazy people, nice people, I’ve met friends, I’ve lost friends, I’ve fought battles and I have lost them. I have celebrated every success I ever had and tried to appreciate everything I have in every moment I breathe.
I had dreams that came true, I had dreams that I no longer have, I had dreams that will never come true, but still I hang on to them.
I have found myself and one thing I know for sure is that there will always be something more to find.
I fell in love, I cried, I laughed because of this love. And then it ended. Like everything ends.
I tried to write, I tried to draw, I tried to play an instrument, I tried to take beautiful pictures.
Still looking for what I do best, still looking for myself.
I had sleepless nights and I slept through the day.
I have felt alone, lost, not good enough, pessimistic, suicidal, desperate, but then again who hasn't.
I have also felt happy, in love, loved, lucky, optimistic, free.
I have learned the hard way that people always leave and that I can do things that disappoint them... and disappoint me.
I have learned that in the end, all you have left are your memories.
I have learned that sometimes there are things you can't explain and they make you wonder if there is something more than this.
I have learned that life is hard and unfair, but we are lucky to have it.
I have found the little things that can make me happy, I have kissed under the rain, I’ve been buried in the sand, I have watched countless sunsets and only one sunrise.
I packed my life and went all alone in a place where I don't know anyone, only carrying my dreams and hopes, just to find out that reality was already there to laugh at my face.
And I stayed.
I had fear of the dark, fear of insects, fear of death.
I have been bitten by a snake, I have been terrified, I have acted purely on my instincts.
I had dreams that I didn't want to wake up from and I had dreams that changed something in me.
I felt as if a song was written about me and I have written songs.
I have read books that changed me and I tried to write a book.

I have lived.
And I can only hope that my journey isn't quite over yet.